chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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