I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
