haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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