6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
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