i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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