just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
they need to just BURY HIM!
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
