dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
