Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
