you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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