if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
