Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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