hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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