The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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