Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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