Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
