You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
