Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Drake has all the answers
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize