she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Randomize
