butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
