so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
