My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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