I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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