dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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