I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
