To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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