1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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