all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I love having hate sex.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
