Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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