I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
