Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
