btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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