i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Randomize
