I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize