he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
