It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
