Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
