FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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