You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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