Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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