I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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