i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Barsexuality is the new black.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
