Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize