Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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