I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Jerry, you need to find god
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
