Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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