I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
