I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
