I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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