Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
