just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
