So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
