tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
