worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
