if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
