im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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