Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
