you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize