i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
