U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
