Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
