I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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