Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
