my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Just cropdusted the office
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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