But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
my being single is dangerous.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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