They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
