Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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