We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
