so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
