do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
