I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
