omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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