OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
