i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Randomize
