was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
